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Internal angst: During this period, I read hundreds of photography books, several masters have influenced me, I understood the importance of photographic communication and I focused on changing my vision. However, even after I started metaphorically communicating with nature and began to see the invisible more and more, I still felt I was missing something.
Discovery phase: Perhaps seven years ago, one of my friends who specialized in large format photography talked with me about large format photography, introducing me to the magic of lens and camera movement, and I began using tilt-shift lenses for my digital photography. That was a nice experience, but once again, I still missed something.
Foray into large format: My friend and I continued discussing more and more about the advantages of large format photography, mostly from a technical point of view. Finally after a year of hesitation and much serious discussion, I felt I was ready to dive into it. Lo and behold, my wife surprised me with a carefully selected large format camera! While I was happy with it, I didn’t know at the time that this fine instrument would completely change my vision. I made several hundred fine negatives with extremely high resolution. The results were fine art prints that showed detail and depth — on black & white, of course. Previously, I wished to have everything and when I finally arrived to the fields and waited for the sunrise, I was not relaxed. I was still filled with the remnants of the daily grind from the previous week. However, something special happened with me during the past years.
My catharsis: I Finally became relaxed more and more and I started seeing the world around me differently. I even focused on nature differently from before. I began pre-visualizing my never-seen images and saw more images when I was alone with the upside-down and reversed orientation 4″x5″ or 8″x10″ image on the camera’s ground glass. I would talk with my image. I tried to make it work within my storyboard. I would tell my story and the image replied to me generating a special connection and binding. The camera’s dark cloth separated me and my image from the disturbing surroundings and this slow, precise and intimate image making process opened my heart and cleared my mind. When I finally clicked the shutter and captured the image, I felt inner peace. I was happy. If everybody could feel similarly as what I experience, we would all be large format photographers. We would all be able to change the world around us, perhaps giving inner peace and happiness to all hearts.